Wednesday, October 24, 2007

This joke won an award for the best joke competition Organized in Britain

A man walks into a bar in Londonand ordered 3-glasses of beer and sits in the backyard of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.


When he finishes, he comes back to the bar counter and orders 3 more. The bartender asks him, "You know, beer goes flat after I fill it in the glass; it would taste better if you buy one at a time.
"
The man replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Dubai, the other in Canadaand I'm here in London.


When they left home, we promised that we'll drink this way to remember the days when we drank together.

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom and leaves it there.

The man became a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He order 3-Beers and drinks them in turn.

One day, he came in and ordered only 2-Beers All the other regulars notice and fall silent.

When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says," I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my sincere condolences on your great loss."

The man looked confused for a moment, then he laughs .... "Oh, no," he, said, "Everyone's fine - both my brothers are alive" .

" The only thing is
...............


I just quit drinking!!!

Friday, October 19, 2007

Who said India is not developed

As we all know that we got independence on 15th Aug 1947... We have been developed a lot .... Compared to US they got independence on 4th July 1776... Our Presidest Abdul Kalam had also told that we will super power by 2020 (definetely we will)... and we know that Anil Ambani of Reliance Industries, Sunil Mittal of Mittal Industries, Narayan Murthy of Infosys, Azim Remji of Wipro etc are some of the big names considered as some of the richest persons of World and leading business persons of the world...

Sometime back i had got a mail from my friend as "Who said India is not developed" with below picture...


Thursday, September 20, 2007

MEMORIES !!!

When
The school reopened in June,
And we settled in our new desks and benches!

When we queued up in book depot,
And got our new books and notes!

When we wanted two Sundays and no Mondays,
yet managed to line up daily for the morning prayers.
We learnt writing with
slates and pencils, and Progressed To fountain pens and ball pens and then Micro tips!

When we began drawing
first with crayons and evolved to Color pencils and finally sketch pens!

When we started calculating
first with tables and then with Clarke's tables and advanced to Calculators and computers!

When we chased one another in the corridors in Intervals, and returned to the classrooms Drenched in sweat!

When we had lunch in classrooms, corridors,
Playgrounds, under the trees and even in cycle sheds!

When all the colors in the world,
Decorated the campus on the Second Saturdays!

When a single P.T. period in the week's Time Table,
Was awaited more eagerly than the monsoons!

When
cricket was played with writing pads as bats,
And Neckties and socks rolled into balls!

When
few played "kabadi" and "Kho-Kho" in scorching sun,
While others simply played "book cricket" in the Confines of classroom!

Of fights but no conspiracies,

Of Competitions but seldom jealousy!

When we used to
watch Live Cricket telecast, In the opposite house in Intervals and Lunch breaks!

When few rushed at 3:45 to
"Conquer" window seats in our School bus!

While few others had "Big Fun", "peppermint",
"kulfi", " milk ice !" and "sharbat !" at 4o Clock!

Gone are the days
Of Sports Day,
and the annual School Day ,
And the one-month long preparations for them.

Gone are the days
Of the stressful Quarterly,
Half Yearly and Annual Exams, And the most enjoyed holidays after them!

Gone are the days
Of tenth and twelfth standards, when We Spent almost the whole year writing revision tests!

We learnt,
We enjoyed,
We played,
We won,
We lost,
We laughed,
We cried,
We fought,
We thought.
With so much fun in them, so many friends,
So much experience, all this and more!

Gone are the days
When we used to talk for hours with our friends!
Now we don't have time to say a `Hi'!

Gone are the days
When we played games on the road!
Now we Code on the road with laptop!

Gone are the days
When we saw stars Shining at Night!
Now we see stars when our code doesn't Work!

Gone are the days
When we sat to chat with Friends on grounds!
Now we chat in chat rooms.....!

Gone are the days
Where we studied just to pass!
Now we study to save our job!

Gone are the days
Where we had no money in our pockets and still fun filled on our hearts!!
Now we have the ATM as well as credit card but with an empty heart!!

Gone are the days
Where we shouted on the road!
Now we don't shout even at home

Gone are the days
Where we got lectures from all!
Now we give lectures to all... …….

Gone are the days
But not the memories, which will be
Lingering in our hearts for ever and ever and Ever and ever and ever .....

Gone are the Days….
But still there are lot more Days to come in our Life!!

NO MATTER HOW BUSY YOU ARE,

DONT FORGET TO

LIVE THE LIFE THAT STILL

EXISTS……DON'T TAKE SMALL THINGS TO HEART KEEP SMILING AND LET OTHERS DO THE SAME…



Author: Unknown

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Solution of all your problem


Hope this will solve all your problems…



Friday, August 24, 2007

See what Rajnikanth can do !!!!

Girls

Do u know, when i was a kid
so many girls wantd to kiss me, i allowed them,

but now i want to kiss so many girls,
but they dont allow me. SELFISH GIRLS..... :( :( :(


Thursday, August 23, 2007

Tickle ur funny bones !!!

Good friend comes 2 visit u in the hospital with flowers n goes.
A True friend sits near u n says: O yaar, nurse bahut sunder hai... aaram se theek hona!

Boy: Tum gaana bahut achcha gaati ho.
Gal: Nahin, mein to sirf bathroom singer hoon.
Boy: To bulaao na kabhi, mehfil jamaate hain.

When things go wrong, when sadness fills ur heart, when tears flow in ur eyes, always remember 3 things: I’m with u, U have money & Bar is open.

Generation Next Motto: Na hum shaadi karenge, na apne bachchon ko karne denge

A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that she looks extremely beautiful when her lips r closed !

What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Indian batsmen?
The walk back to the pavilion.

Bhagwan apki umar lambi karey! Bhagwan apko Naukri de! Bhagwan apko Khush rakhe! Bhagwan apko Barkat de! Yaad ho gaya? Chal phir Katora utha aur shooru ho ja.

Do u remember the day we travelled in a car? I put my dog out of the window, u put ur face out, then people started shouting 'TWINS TWINS'.

Telling a lie is a fault for a little boy, an art for a lover, an accomplishment for a bachelor and a Matter of Survival for a married man. Gud Luck!!!

A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that she looks extremely beautiful when her lips r closed !
If U Don’t Eat Junk food, Don’t Smoke, Don’t Drink, Don't Have boy Friend/Gal Friend, Don't Play Cards, No Late Nights; Then Visit Our site:
www.paidakyunhuethe.com

An old rich man marries a young gal.
Interviewer asks the girl: Apne inmein shaadi ke liye kya dekha?
Girl: Ek to inki income aur doosre inke din kum.

Reverse dynamics: When a man becomes rich he becomes naughty.
When a woman becomes naughty.... she becomes rich.

A lady is standing on top of the hill n she is going to push her father down. So what's the name of the lady?Push......Paa.

Q: Agar do pipal ke Pedon ko ek rassi se bandh diya jaye to us rassi ko kya kahenge?
A: Us rassi ko bolengey NOKIA - Connecting pipal.

Ravan was sent to court & was asked to keep a hand on Geeta.
He refused saying: Sita par hath rakh kar itni musibat aayi! Ab Geeta pe haath nahin rakhunga

In a class, teacher asked: If I buy an item@ 12.75 n sell@15.25, it's loss or profit?
Pappu: Profit in rupees & loss in paise

May our friendship turn into silver, silver into gold, gold into diamonds... and may our diamonds be forever... Then we'll sell it OK? Fifty-Fifty

Monday, August 20, 2007

Girls and Boys Policy

GIRLS POLICY:

FRAUD with INNOCENT boys.
FUN with HANDSOME boys.
FRIENDSHIP with SMART boys.
LOVE with FAITHFUL boys.
MARRIAGE with RICH boys.

BOYS POLICY:

INDIA is our Nation.
GIRLS are our DESTINATION.
FLIRTING is our PROFESSION.
DATING is our OCCUPATION.
to hell with our EDUCATION.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Monthly Milestones

MONTHLY MILESTONES OF AN IT GUY





MONTHLY MILESTONES OF AN IT GAL

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Happy Independence Day

Let us celebrate the independence day.

PROUD TO BE AN INDIAN.
JAI HIND


Aug. 15, 1947: Mountbatten swears Nehru in as Prime Minister of India


TRAIN TO PAKISTAN; India 1947. Trains packed with refugees - Hindus and Sikhs headed for India, and Muslims headed for Pakistan - were convenient targets for gangs of killers on both sides of the border. Inadequately protected 'Refugee Specials' were typically stopped, and the occupants butchered, several times in the course of the journey.
The dead - Punjab, 1947

1971: Indira Gandhi reviews the troops, in the context of militaryand diplomatic preparations for the Bangladesh War.

Ghandhiji Addressing people

Nehru and Gandhi at AICC meeting, July 1946


Mountbatten arrives at Delhi airport; received by Nehru and Liaquat Ali. March 25, 1947


1948: The news of Gandhi's assassination hits the streets. A stunned crowd gathers in Calcutta.


1948: Crowds in New Delhi wait for a glimpse of Gandhi's funeral procession.

A Library being divided at the time of partition. Heart trembles to see this sight and it is tough to imagine the state of the nation at the moment when people needed to hold hands.

This is our 60th Independence Day!
Freedom is not a Right but a Feeling!
Let's be proud to feel the Freedom!
Let's say loud we are INDIANS!!!
Let all of us get to-gather &
Let's Celebrate Our Freedom!!!

Friday, August 10, 2007

Not My Job !!!

This year's "Not My Job" award and the winner is National Highway Department...


Thursday, August 9, 2007

Nice Quotes :-)

Don't compare yourself with anyone in this world. If you do so, you are insulting yourself.
-ALEN STRIKE.

You are not responsible for what people think about you. But you are responsible for what you give them to think about you.
-STANLEY FERRARD.

A man is lucky if he is the first love of a Woman. A woman is lucky if she is the last love of a man. -CHARLES DICKENS.

Write your Sad times in Sand, Write your Good times in Stone.
-GEORGE BERNARD SHAW.

Behind every successful man, there is an untold pain in his heart.
-BILL JACOBS.

Without your involvement you can't succeed. With your involvement you can't fail.
-Dr. ABDUL KALAM.

Love your job but don't love your Company because you may not know when your company stops loving you.
-Dr. ABDUL KALAM.

You may get DELAYED to reach your Targets. But every step you take towards your target is EQUAL to Victory.
-KARL MARX.

It's better to loose your Ego to the one you Love, than to loose the one you LOVE because of EGO.
-JOHN KEATS.

Don't make promise when you are in JOY. Don't reply when you are SAD.
Don't take decisions when you are ANGRY. Think twice, Act wise. BE happy

When you start caring about yourself, you start loving somebody.
But when start caring about others somebody will start loving you.

What is the Secret of SUCCESS... ? "RIGHT DECISIONS"
How do you make Right Decisions...? "EXPERIENCE"
How do you get Experience... ? "WRONG DECISIONS"

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Zindagi ek....

Zindagi ek tofha hai, Qubool kijiyeh,
Zindagi ek haseen pal hai, ise share kijiyeh,
Zindadi ek Ehsaas hai, Mehsoos kijeyeh,
Zindagi ek mouka hai, kuch kar ke dikaiye,
Zindagi ek Milan Hai, Muskura Dijiyeh,
Zindagi ek Pyas Hai, Pyar Dijiyeh,
Zindagi ek Judaai Hai, Sabar Kijiyeh,
Zindagi ek Aansu Hai, Pee Lijiyeh,
Zindagi Akhir Zindagi Hai, Jee Lijiyeh

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

World's Sweetest Prayer

Dear God,


Please tell my mom not to waste water !!!


Monday, August 6, 2007

One night @ Call Center

Hey, I have sucessfully completed reading a book "One night @ Call Center" in just two weekends.... It consists of 291 pages..... If I would have read the academic books like this I would have scored atleast 80% marks.. This is first book i have read completely... Books always used to make me sleep anytime... I got tempted to read this book because of my friends in the cab, this book was passing to all the guys in cab.... I should thank Santosh who gave me this book....

Great Evening

After 7 long years, we friends met on the Frienship Day. :-) It was great evening. It was last minute plan made by my friend Chandan. Thank You Chandan for taking so much pain. We all studied St.Xavier's Boys High School, Bangalore.

Guys I met yesterday are, Chandan(Organiser), Krishnan(Rank student, we used to call him kallu), Irshad, Naveed, Vinay(we used to call him vinde), Ikram (troublesome guy in the class, we used to call him Piigu) and Roopesh.

Few guys missed out this opportunity, anyways we have planned for another get-to-gether on 26th of this month...

Friday, August 3, 2007

Happy Friendship Day



Wish you all Happy Friendship Day.... :-) May God bless you all...:-)

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Career Training


Anybody who wants to build there career in these new field, Contact my friends Santosha(MA-Maut ka Ayojak) and Prasad (BCA-Bachelor of Cutting Animals)

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

My todays fortune


As you can see my todays fortune from Orkut.... "A cheerful letter or message is on its way to you"..
The message I got through sms is "The statement for your credit card xxxxxxxxxxxx of
Rs. 50000.00 with due date 09-08-07 has been sent to you by regular post on 23-07-07. Thank You."
ha ha ha what a cheerful message...

Monday, July 23, 2007

Partner - Laugh riot. Must watch...


Complete laugh, u will roll in ur seats... The dialogues in the movie (Partner) are simply sidesplitting and will have you rolling in your seats. The music is pretty catchy especially the title song.

Govinda completely steals the show in this movie, he makes a great comeback in style. Salman Khan is as stylish as ever. The leading ladies Lara and Katrina are also good.

I have already watched this movie three times....

Who is the BEST - Infosys, Wipro, TCS or Satyam?



One day, four consultants, one from Wipro, one from Infosys, one from TCS and one from Satyam, went out for a walk...

"Why don't we prove who is the best among ourselves?"

Why not, said the other three....

The Infosian said "Let's have a test. Whoever makes this monkey laugh, works for the best firm"...

Being a pure logical strategist, the person from TCS tried to make the monkey Laugh by telling jokes. The monkey stayed still....

As a more practical consultant, the Wipro guy tried to make funny gestures... No good, the monkey stayed put...

Next it was Infosys guy who tried telling jokes and putting some funny gestures but couldn’t make monkey to laugh…


Now, comes the Satyamite. Being the practical guy he was always trained to be, he whispered something into the monkey's ear, and it burst out laughing at him..

The other three were astonished. So the Wipro guy said "OK, let's take another test. Let's make this monkey cry!!"

So there they went again, applying the same methods as before. The TCS guy narrated sad stories, the Wipro guy made sad gestures, Infosys guy also followed same thing and they failed again...

Then, the Satyamite again whispered something into the monkey's ear and oh! It started crying, patting the Satyamite's shoulder!

The other three just could not believe their eyes! So the tcs guy said "OK, you've won twice. If you can win just this one, we will bow to you. Let's make this monkey run"...

And he barked at the monkey and ordered him to run. Of course, it stayed where it was.. The Wipro guy and Infosys guy true to his type, pushed and prodded the monkey- still No go...

So...here comes Satyamite, again, and whispers into the monkey's ear. The Monkey just takes off! It runs and runs as fast as it can...


The other three surrendered...They Said: "OK, we give up...


You're the best among us, and you work for the Best firm of the four. But please, please tell us your secret," they begged him....

"Well", said the Satyamite , "The first time I made it laugh, I told I work for Satyam . The next time, I told the monkey how much I get paid ...so it started crying...



And then I told that I was here for recruitment !!!

Thursday, July 19, 2007

The LEGENDS of IT Industry


1) Tim Berners Lee -- Founder of the World Wide Web


2) Picture taken when microsoft was started




3) Steve Woznaik(sitting) and Steve Jobs of APPLE Computers.He was three months late in filing a name for the business because he didn't get any better name for his new company.So one day he told to the staff: " If I'll not get better name by 5 o'clcok today, our company's name will be anything he likes..."so at 5 o'clcok nobody comeup with better name, and he was eating APPLE that time...so he keep the name of the company 'Apple Computers'





4) Bill Hewlett(L) and Dave Packard(R) of HP.Behind them in the picture is the famous HP Garage.Bill Hewlett and Dave Packard tossed a coin to decide whether the company they founded would be called Hewlett-Packard or Packard-Hewlett.And the winner was NOT Bill... the winner was Dave.



5) Ken Thompson (L)and Dennis Ritchie(R) ,creators of UNIX.Dennis Ritchie improved on the B programming language and called it 'New B'.B was created by Ken Thompson as a revision of the Bon programming language (named after his wife Bonnie)He later called it C.





6) Larry Page(L) and Sergey Brin(R), founders of Google.Google was originally named 'Googol'.After founders (Stanford graduates) Sergey Brin and Larry Page presented their project to an angel investor...they received a cheque made out to 'Google' !...So they kept name as GOOGLE




7) Gordon Moore(L) and Bob Noyce(R) ,founders of Intel.Bob Noyce and Gordon Moore wanted to name their new company ' Moore Noyce'.But that was already trademarked by a hotel chain...So they had to settle for an acronym of INTegrated ELectronics... INTEL






8) Andreas Bechtolsheim , Bill Joy, Scott Mc Nealy and Vinod Khosla of SUN(StanfordUniversity Network) MicroSystems.Founded by four StanfordUniversity buddies.Andreas Bechtolsheim built a microcomputer;Vinod Khosla recruited him;Scott McNealy to manufacture computers based on it;and Bill Joy to develop a UNIX-based OS for the computer...SUN is the acronym for Stanford University Network .






9) Linus Torvalds of Linux Operating System Linus Torvalds originally used the Minix OS on his system which he replaced by his OS.Hence the working name was Linux (Linus' Minix).He thought the name to be too egotistical and planned to name it Freax (free + freak + x).His friend Ari Lemmk encouraged Linus to upload it to a network so it could be easily downloaded.Ari gave Linus a directory called linux on his FTP server, as he did not like the name Freax.Linus like that directory name and he kept the name of his new OS to LINUX...







10) Picture taken when INFY was started. This picture was found in the album of the clerk who took this picture...The picture was with that clerk only because it was his birthday and he just told everyone to stand together at one place to take a pic.He borrow a camera from his friend and as he can not tell any of his boss to take pic, so he took pic by himself... even it was his birthday.






AND THIS PICTURE WAS TAKEN WHEN SUPERHIT SHOLEY WAS STARTED......They were looking at ashrani when he was doing practice first time with his funny Jailer's dress... ALONE on one rock...







Friday, July 13, 2007

SATYAM ke employee se katai nahin karegi Basanti Shaadi!!!


Jay : Mausi, ladka SATYAM mein kaam karta hai..

Mausi : Hai ram..!!! aur kahin try kar raha hai kya??


Jay : kahan mausi 2 saal SATYAM me rahne ke baad koi Company letikahan hai...

Mausi : Hi Raam to kya 2 saal se SATYAM mein hi hai..


Jay : haan socha tha 2 saal me salary hike hogi hi. Aajkal tosalary bhi jyada NAHI mil rahi hai use..

Mausi : To kya salary BHI KAM milti HAI..?


Jay : Ab appraisal bhi to asaani se kahaan hota hai mausi..

Mausi : Hai hai ...!! To kya appraisal bhi nahi hota uska..?


Jay : Senior se ladhai karne ke baad appraisal mein achhi ratingto nahin milti hai... mausi..

Mausi : To kya seniors se ladhta bhi hai..?


Jay : Ab 2 saal tak onsite jane ko na mile to ho jaati haikabhikabhi anban..

Mausi : To kya ab tak ek baar bhi onsite nahi gaya ..???


Jay : Ab Outdated technology ke developer ki kismat mein toyehilikha hai mausi..

Mausi : kya kaha ladka Outdated technology mein kaam karatahai..!!!


Mausi : Kaunse college se padhai ki hai..?

Jay : Uska pataa lagte hi hum aapko khabar kar de denge!!


Jay : To main rishta pakka samjhuna mausi???

Mausi : Beta, kan khol kar sun le...Sagi mausi hoon basanti ki koisauteli maa nahi Bhale hi hamaari Basanti Call Center wale Chandu se shaadi kar le par SATYAM ke employee se katai nahin karegi Shaadi!!!

Secret of Longevity

A passerby noticed an old lady sitting on her front step and asked I couldn't help noticing how happy you look!! What is your secret for such a long, happy life?


She said, "I smoke 4 pack of cigarettes a day, Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint. Apart from that, I dringk a whole bottle of Jack Daniels every week, and eat only junk food. On weekends I pop a huge number of pills and do no excercise at all."


"This is absolutely amazing at your age!!!!", says the passerby and asks "How old are you?"

Old lady replies: "twenty-four."

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Height of Wedding Card


That is not an Orkut page but it's a Wedding Card... After few days everybody will start sending invitation through Orkut....

Monday, July 9, 2007

The New7Wonders of the World were announced tonight in a star-studded ceremony featuring a fanfare of musical performances and a parade of world dignitaries. All came together for one night to highlight the world's cultural gems and shared heritage.
The New7Wonders of the World, in random order, are:
  1. Taj Mahal (India),
  2. Petra (Jordan),
  3. Chichén Itzá (Mexico),
  4. The Statue of Christ Redeemer (Brazil),
  5. The Roman Colosseum (Italy),
  6. Machu Picchu (Peru)
  7. The Great Wall of China (China)

More than 100 million votes were cast worldwide.Actresses Hilary Swank and Bipasha Basu and actor Ben Kingsley hosted the ceremonies, which transformed the Benfica Stadium in Lisbon, Portugal and contrasted the more than 2,000-year-old Ancient Wonders, presented to the audience from a giant book, with the New7Wonders candidate finalists framed by a giant laptop computer.Bernard Weber, who launched the New7Wonders Foundation to unite the world by honoring our common heritage, announced the organization's next project: The New7Wonders of Nature.Among highlights of the evening were performances by Jennifer Lopez and Jose Carreras, as well as Dulce Pontes, Chaka Khan, Alessandro Safina and Joaquín Cortés. Special guests were Neil Armstrong, Bertrand Piccard, Frederico Mayor and Cristiano Ronaldo, Portugal's homegrown football star.

Get more on 7 wonders of the world by clicking here

Thursday, July 5, 2007

Technology on street == it happens only in Bangalore


Technology on street.. A techie works on his laptop as an amused policeman gapes on the footpath near Trinity Circle in Bangalore...
I got this as an email from my friend.

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

Your dream will not die....
Your plans will not fail.....
Your destiny will not be aborted.....
The desire of your heart will be granted..... "Only" if you " BELIEVE IN YOURSELF "

Taj Mahal.... heritage of India

New 7 wonders of the world are to be announced on 07/07/07 out of 21 finalist.... Taj Mahal is at 10th place... We have 100 crores of population.... Only 3.5 crores of votes are recorded... Please I request all Indians kindly vote for Taj Mahal "http://www.new7wonders.com/index.php"

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